“Whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.”
So here’s the deal. I LOVE Harry Potter. More than any other story, more than any other fandom, Harry Potter has reached right into the depths of my soul. Yes, I do have many a-fandom I belong to, and I love them ALL! But there is that one special place in my heart in which only HP can abide. These characters are some of the oldest and dearest friends that I have.
Over the years, I’ve collected quotes and hilarious excerpts and I recently decided to find them all on Goodreads–that way I have my collection all nice and sorted. But in the process, I thought it would be fun to share all the HP fun here for all of you to read and enjoy:)
So! Let’s start with the more humorous happenings, yeah?;) Here are some excerpts from the first four books that brought out some giggles, chuckles, and full-out barking laughs!
“Do you mean ter tell me,” he growled at the Dursleys, “that this boy—this boy!—knows nothin’ abou’—about ANYTHING?”
Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren’t bad.
I know some things,” he said. “I can, you know, do math and stuff.”
“Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won’t they?” said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. “When they hear what you did this year?”
“Proud?” said Harry. “Are you crazy? All those times I could’ve died, and I didn’t manage? They’ll be furious. . . .”
“Think you can manage that broom, Potter?” said a cold, drawling voice.
Draco Malfoy had arrived for a closer look, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him.
“Yeah, reckon so,” said Harry casually.
“Got plenty of special features, hasn’t it?” said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. “Shame it doesn’t come with a parachute–in case you get too near a dementor.”
Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.
“Pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy,” said Harry. “Then it could catch the Snitch for you.”
“Don’t play,” said Hermione at once.
“Say you’re ill,” said Ron.
“Pretend to break your leg,” Hermione suggested.
“Really break your leg,” said Ron.
“So you mean the Stone’s only safe as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?” said Hermione in alarm.
“It’ll be gone by next Tuesday,” said Ron.
He knew perfectly well what his regular nightmare about a graveyard meant, he did not need Ron of Professor Trelawney or the stupid Dream Oracle to tell him that. . . .
“Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night,” said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. “What d’you reckon that means?”
“Probably that you’re going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something,” said Harry, turning the pages of The Dream Oracle without interest.
“But people only die in proper duels, you know, with real wizards. The most you and Malfoy’ll be able to do is send sparks at each other. Neither of you knows enough magic to do any real damage. I bet he expected you to refuse, anyway.”
“And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?”
“Throw it away and punch him on the nose,” Ron suggested.
“You haven’t got a letter on yours,” George observed. “I suppose she thinks you don’t forget your name. But we’re not stupid-we know we’re called Gred and Forge.”
“About Siri . . . Snuffles?” said Harry.
“No . . . not exactly . . .” said Hermione slowly. “More . . . wondering . . . I suppose we’re doing the right thing . . . I think . . . aren’t we?”
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
“Well, that clears that up,” said Ron. “It would’ve been really annoying if you hadn’t explained yourself properly.”
“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard.
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
“Wild!” Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. “I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again… and again… and again…”
“There might not be time after the World Cup, the match went on for five days last time.”
“Wow — hope it does this time!” said Harry enthusiastically.
“Well, I certainly don’t,” said Percy sanctimoniously. “I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days.”
“Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?” said Fred.
“That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!” said Percy, going very red in the face. “It was nothing personal!”
“It was,” Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. “We sent it.”
“Mr. Weasley, it’s Harry . . . the fireplace has been blocked up. You won’t be able to get through there.”
“Damn!” said Mr. Weasley’s voice. “What on earth did they want to block the fireplace for?”
“They’ve got an electric fire,” Harry explained.
“Really?” said Mr. Weasley’s voice excitedly. “Eclectic, you say? With a plug? Gracious, I must see that… Let’s think…ouch, Ron!”
Ron’s voice now joined the others’.
“What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?”
“Oh no, Ron,” came Fred’s voice, very sarcastically. “No, this is exactly where we want to end up.”
“Yeah, we’re having the time of our lives here,” said George, whose voice sounded muffled, as though he was squashed against the wall.
MAN, that last one is one of my favorite laugh-inducing bits from these books! I hope you all have enjoyed these as much as I have. Just writing this post out and gathering my bundles of quotes has brought profound happiness to my day (slash night).
Stay tuned! I’ll be adding more HP posts every now and then, keeping my love for all things Potter alive, always;)